Gaining a little perspective....

As the end of the year approaches, I have thought a lot about the last 11 months of my life. I have thought about how much I have changed and I am always hoping that it has been for the better. I feel like I have aged 10 years in 1, but I know that the experiences that I have had are helping me turn into the person I hope to someday be. I have become acutely aware of the world around me, and I think that I have slowed down a bit. I notice more about the people around me, trying to take something good from each day. I've learned that we can gain so much from our relationships with others, and whether good or bad, it helps shape our lives in so many ways. I haven't had a overly-sensitive, cheesy post in a while, so I thought with the holidays coming up, this would be appropriate.

As many of you know, I am working at a high school in the Special Education department in Arizona. Over the past couple of months, I have gotten to know some amazing kids. Some of the biggest hearts I have ever seen have been with this program. One in particular, Dillon, has taught me more than almost anyone I have ever known. Dillon has Cerebral Palsy, a neuromuscular disorder that affects his entire body - most specifically, his motor and speech skills. His handicap is one that is so debiltating that constant supervision is almost always needed and his muscle spasms will cause him noticable pain quite a few times during the day. He struggles to walk, talk, write, etc. Daily living is always a struggle. Still, his sweet spirit is constant and he has helped me see life from a different perspective. From the moment I started my position, Dillon has always been so attentive. He is always asking if I am liking my job and if I'm "finding my way around the school Ok," wondering if he can help. Dillon always greets everyone with a huge smile, and asks how they are doing - you can tell by the way he looks at you, that he is truly listening to your response. He remembers details about your life, because he listens and really cares about what you have to say. He never judges. Never discriminates. He has a great sense of humor. He is humble. He cares. He the epitome of a Christ-like individual. He is just happy to be where he is, and grateful for those around him. At the end of each day, he gives me a hug and thanks me for my help. It makes my job seem so meaningful, even on the toughest of days. To me, it seems like he has every right to be an unpleasant individual, and get away with it. He couldn't be further from that. He has helped me realize that no matter what I go through, I have so many things in my life to be grateful for.

So, even though Dillon won't read this, he should know that because of him, I am learning more patience. I am learning the importance of charity and service. I have learned that kindness to EVERYONE is something to be striving for on an everyday basis. I understand the importance of the relationships around me and to cherish them each day. I am so lucky to have the family that I do. They support me and love me unconditionally. And even though it seems impossible, I think I love them more each day. The same goes for my unwavering, loyal friends, who bring so much love and joy to my life. I am learning to be more humble, and to strive for a more simple life. I am learning that love and kindness really do rub off on other people, and can turn a bad mood into good. I am striving to be more Christ-like and more like my sweet Dillon, everyday. So Dillon, this post is a shout-out to you, and I hope that with Thanksgiving coming up, we can all take the time to realize everything we have to be grateful for, and gain a little perspective on what is truly important....

"As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done." ("O Remember, Remember," Ensign, Nov 2007, 66–69).

"Absentmindedness is a sign of intelligence"

My mom once told me that absentmindedness was a sign of intelligence, and it is something I find myself repeating over and over to myself on a daily basis. Somewhere over the last year or so, I have become THAT girl. If there is a banana peel within a 100 foot radius of where I am walking, not only will I find it, but while slipping on it, I will land on something that will either cause me to bleed profusely, or break something. Many of you may remember how I not only slammed my thumb in my car door a couple months ago, but also locked it in there. One hospital trip and unnecessarily large ER bill later, my thumb remains attached to my hand. A couple of weeks ago, Ashley and I were in Anthropologie and while rounding a corner to the perfume table, my "Mary Poppins-sized" bag and myself took out about 15 glass candles. Immediately after the shattering of glass subsided, Ashley gasped, then yelled, "Oh, nice one Laura!" while she backed up as if not to be seen with me. The kind woman working there tried to make me feel better by telling me that they get little kids knocking stuff over all the time. Yes, little kids...and me.

So far, I have been able to hide this clumsy, and absentminded curse from my students at school. After today, that is no longer the case. It had just been one of those days. I spilled a drink all over my shirt on the way to school. My hair acted as if there was bubble of static electricity surrounding my head all day. I forgot some papers and my teacher ID card at home, and so on. While in between class periods, I was walking outside carrying a large stack of papers, when my heel got caught in a crack on the sidewalk. As a rush of panic began flowing through my entire body, I could tell that I would not be going down softly. As about 100 papers flew into the air, my ankle twisted in agony and I came tumbling to the ground. The blood immediately rushed to my face, and I laid there for what felt like 10 minutes. Its been pretty hard to blend into Westwood High School, as I am definitely the minority in a 90% Hispanic school, but now there was no hiding me. One of my sweet students who refers to me as, Ms. Soupa (Ms. Soup in Spanish...as in Campbell Soup. Creative, I know.) came to my side and didn't hide his laughter as he helped me pick up the papers surrounding me. I quickly got up and ran to my classroom. I'm sure there are going to be a lot of new nicknames for me now.

I'm thinking that this clumsy streak I have going on cannot last forever, but I will keep you all updated....

Sappy Moment Tuesday: National Friendship Month

So, with no help from any of YOU (which leads me to assume that Ashley really is the only one that still reads OUR "dual-blog"), I have come up with a topic all by myself. And after a brief absence, my mind has returned to its normal state of craziness and a million thoughts - and while not necessarily everything needs to be written down, it helps keep my head organized. So bear with me.

With that being said, I read way too many magazines. If I read as many books as I read magazines, I'd be really intelligent. Even more so than I am now :) I picked up an old issue of SELF magazine that I had among my collection this morning, and it flipped open to an article titled "National Friendship Month". It discussed a study done at UCLA about friendship among women and how important it is to our actual EXISTENCE (yes, I'm capitalizing for emphasis). The study suggested that the special bond between certain women "soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are." It went on to say a lot more, but the bottom line being that the women that nurture their friendships as one of the most important aspects of their lives, live longer, happier ones.

The article hit close to home because over the last couple of months, I have really taken the time to re-evaluate my relationships/friendships, and have learned to appreciate my own friends on a completely different level. Ashley and I were talking last night about our "relationships," and how they come and go, but the true friendships we have will remain consistent and constant our entire lives. I know I have let some of my friendships take a backseat at times, so I only hope I can be the kind of friend to those that have stuck by me through everything, like they have been to me. There are so many of my close female friends that have literally, breathed life back into me, on my darkest of days. I would not be the person I am today, nor the one I have yet to become without them (tear :)). I know there are days I take advantage of it, but will forever make a effort to always recognize them as the most important relationships I have.

So, thanks to all my friends...this post is a shout-out to you.

"You were the one who made things different, you were the one who took me in. You were the one thing I could count on, above all, you were my friend." - Tom Petty

Article:
http://www.anapsid.org/cnd/gender/tendfend.html

Thought of the Day: Random acts of kindness

Have you ever seen the commercial where someone witnesses another person doing something nice for another person or themselves, and in turn does the same for someone else? I was at Wild Oats yesterday (my home away from home, away from Borders), and after I had put my groceries in my car, began walking my cart back to the front of the store. It was especially warm yesterday, and I was wearing a sweater in rebellion, so my heat exhaustion was obvious. There was a woman in the car across the street from mine walking her cart back as well, and as I turned to walk towards the store, smiled at me, and said, "Let me take that cart for you..." It seems like such a small thing as I am writing this down, but at the time, it completely changed my mood. The drive home, during rush hour (which is insane in Phoenix), seemed like so much less of a chore, as I consciously tried to be courteous to other drivers. This approach to helping out others around me, continued all day - all because another woman offered to take my cart. I believe, no matter how small the favor, if we can be more aware of the treatment we give others around us, the world will be a better place. People would start caring more about others, which in turn, would make them care more about world and environment around them. And then we would all recycle and live in peace. Ok, maybe I'm getting carried away, but I can dream.


"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile."
- Mother Teresa

Epiphany

All I want to do today is wear a sweater. Its 115 degrees outside and I just want to wear a sweater. I had an epiphany today that maybe we are put in positions sometimes - maybe when we have spent too many months focused only on ourselves and our own problems - only to help us realize what we may be taking advantage of and not appreciating like we should. Like four seasons. That's all I have to say about that.

sheababy

So, a few of the regular visitors to our blog may have noticed the link to "sheababy naturals" on our site. I'm not one to promote or market products, but this I am much too excited about to keep to myself. Developed by some of the most talented, innovative, creative (not to mention ridiculously good-looking) people and young parents I know, this line of beautifully desiged baby clothing, produced from organically grown cotton is something everyone should be looking into. Those that know me best know how much I love and respect the Crawford's and Allen's, and their commitment to help preserve the environment has had a huge affect on me (as most of you have seen) and I know that their business is the next big thing. I have seen the designs first-hand and they are amazing. They are just starting up, so keep watching the site and look forward to their Fall 2007 collection!

http://www.sheababynaturals.com/

Wednesday night blogging

My mind sure has been wandering today. I don't know if it is the fever that I have been running the past two days, or that maybe all this extra time on my hands is making me crazy. It's probably both, but anywhoo...admist my delirious, sweaty, fever-induced afternoon, I watched a documentary called "Shut up and Sing" that reviewed the last four years of the Dixie Chicks' career and the media-crazed backlash that they received stemming from the, "I'm ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas," comment. Natalie Maines, the lead singer, mentioned in the film that she would never be able to forgive the media and people that refused to buy, listen or have anything to do with their music after the fact.

It made me start thinking about forgiveness, and how hard it is for some people to forgive. For some reason, I have always been one of those people who forgives quickly. Hearing the phrase, "I will forgive, but never forget" is something that will never ring true for me. I actually do end up...forgetting. I don't know if it is some glitch in my brain, or maybe that I am just choosing, subconsciously, to not think about the "wrong-doings" that have been done to me. To me, it is easier to just, "forgive and forget". This has hurt me in my life, and I realize that, as I trust and forgive way too easily. Some confuse it with naivity, and though I am that too (and I'm working on it), I mostly feel that it takes more energy to be mad at someone than just try and move on. I discussed this with Ashley tonight and she also is one that always forgives and forgets. She brought up an interesting point that pride in not wanting to give in and forgive, may be one the reasons friendships/relationships may be lost after someone mistreats us or betrays our trust, and I agree with her. But which is better? Forgiving and "forgetting" and taking the risk of being hurt again? Or forgiving, and NOT forgetting, but harboring onto bitter feelings towards someone your whole life? Ultimately, I think it is a personal, emotional choice and I think I can understand both sides. Still, for me, forgiveness has been one of the most important things over the last few months for me in dealing with my divorce. While there our some parts of the situation that are impossible to forget (hence the end of my marriage); accepting the situation, and knowing that I love CJ for what we once had and forgiving him for what he did, has helped me move on that much more quickly.

After thinking about all this, I remembered a quote that I read from The Peacemaker: "Being mistreated is the most important condition of mortality, for eternity itself depends on how we view those who mistreat us."

Maybe I've given you all something to think about. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow, my fever will have broken, and I will realize I wrote a bunch of nonsense and end up erasing this. I don't know. Either way, hope you are all having a good night.

Inspiring Women

I love reading stories about the women in the world that are making a difference in others lives. Knowing that these are just ordinary women doing extraordinary things only makes me want to try harder to make a difference in the world around me, especially by making a difference in the lives of the people that I love most. I recently read an article on Maya Angelou, whom I consider one of the most charitable and recognized women in our society. She has accomplished so much as a writer, teacher, civil rights activist, poet, ect, and even with a trying past, has spread her message of hope and unwavering optimism throughout the world. So for today, I'm trying to balance my feministic cynicism and turn it into something postive - uplifting even - to the favorite women in my life. Though I'm not sure anyone besides Carlee and Ashley "the eternal feminists" actually read my posts, I thought I'd take some time to write down some things from some inspiring women that I've made notes of the last couple of weeks. So even if it only gets out to my two best buds...here you go:

"Astonish the world with acts of kindness." - Maya Angelou
"Change is scary. But its also inevitable. To me, that's truly exciting." - Vera Wang
"Leadership is having the courage to show true action." - Oprah Winfrey
"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." - Harriet Beacher Stowe
"Don't make money your goal. You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Pursue things you love doing and do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you." - Maya Angelou
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Theresa
"A woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself." Susan B. Anthony
"If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it." - Margaret Fuller

**Please note that my incredible Mom says inspiring things to me almost everyday, I just haven't been smart enough to write them down yet.....