Friday, September 28, 2007

Ashley and her date....and Laura...

One of the awesome parts about living with me is that Ashley has to deal with all the baggage that comes along with it. She's a good sport. I monopolize all her time and unfortunately that carries over into her love life. Some people might call this..."being the third wheel." I'm almost like the kid that comes along with the single mom. Half way into the first date, a single mom might inevitably drop the, "oh, yeah, I have a 3 year old" bomb. Midway through Ashley's dates she has to bring up the, "I have this friend, Laura...." topic. Well, last night was a good example of why if this continues, Ashley will never get married and her family will form an intervention to get rid of me (I know they are worrying as they read this - don't worry, I exaggerate just a little).

Ashley and I went to dinner last night and as we were finishing, a guy that Ashley has been on a couple of dates with called and wanted to hang out with her. Of course, she told him that she was with me, and so he kindly asked "us" to come meet up with him (but also thinking to himself, "Why is she with HER again?") To give myself a little credit, I thought he was with a few people, so I technically wouldn't have been the third wheel, and I would not have gone if it was just the two of them. (I'm still only comfortable being Carlee and Ben's third wheel) We met up with him, and to both mine and Ashley's surprise, it was just the three of us. Awesome. The funny thing is, is that it isn't awkward for me or Ashley. But the poor guy that has to sit in the middle of our conversation - that is who I feel bad for. Throughout the night he has to listen to our inside jokes and sarcastic comments. Normally, we can keep the guy entertained, just enough so he feels included, but last night it took a different turn. I could see Ashley's date progressively get more and more annoyed as the night went on. He would switch between looks on his face of, "Why is Laura here, and how do I get rid of her?" to, "Why does she laugh at her own jokes so much?" By the end of the night he was pouting. I'm not kidding. Pouting. He walked ten steps ahead of us to the car, and once he got there, barely said two words before he drove off into the night.

This leads me to my two philosophies on dating. First, as just a general rule of thumb - I do not think I could date a man that had a Chiuaua or Poodle. Can't handle a real dog, can't handle a real relationship. And second, which is a direct result of last night - if you can't handle both Ashley and I together, you are probably not worth it. Keep the lesbian jokes to a minimum please.

5 comments:

Katie said...

YES! That is hilarious. IF he can't handle the package then he's gone. Sounds like you guys are having fun.

The Neilson Family said...

Real funny Laura! Yes maybe I do need a personal driver and yes it was your fault. Thank you for taking credit. Luv ya!

Nate, Jenny and Amelia said...

You are such an enjoyable writer! Your posts keep me very intertained!

Nate, Jenny and Amelia said...

I mean entertained. Yes I have been to elementary school.

Anonymous said...

Laura, this is Cassidy Daybell. Hopefully you remember me!! Hey I want to talk to you about a job opportunity down in PHX. Give me call. Ash should have my number. I dont know your email so this was the only way I think to contact you!!! Not sure. I think I will try myspace too!!!