Happy Birthday Kar-Kar!

I am very fortunate to have so many good friends. One of those topping the list, is the sweet love of my life, Karlee Anderson, who turns 24 today! Karlee, or as our friends know her, Kar-Kar, is easily one of the most genuine, thoughtful and most amazing girls I've ever known. We have been close since our Alta High School days, and I know I could count on her for anything. She has always listened when I have needed someone to talk to, but unlike most people, she is able to give great advice and insight on almost any situation. She is smart, ambitious, lovely, and perfect in every way shape and form. Even though this sounds like an Anne of Green Gables moment, she is truly a kindred spirit. Since I'm doing a really good job with the "name-poem" I'm going to do one for her right now:
K-is for kind, because she is beyond that.
A-is for amazing, because she is that too.
R-is for ridiculously good-looking.
L-is for love, because she loves hard and everyone loves her too.
E-is entertaining, because she is always fun to be around.
E-is for eternal friendship

Thanks for being such a big part of my life Karlee. Happy Birthday!!

Ode to the Birthday Girl

There are few people in my life that have had quite the affect that Ashley Engar has had on me. She is easily one of my favorite people in the world, and today she turns 24! Ashley is one of those people that has a lot of friends and admirers because she is so freaking cool. I have technically known her since junior high when I would play against her in soccer. I really wanted to be her friend, but as this was my most awkward phase in life, and she was a lot more popular and only friends with the "soccer girls," we only knew each other as acquaintances. I knew deep down though, that one day we would be friends. High school was pretty much the same thing, until senior year, when she slowly crept into my life. College was our time. Ashley started out at UVSC, but sophomore year she transferred to the University of Utah and our life together began. We were majoring and minoring in the same subject, so we had a lot of classes together, and ended up rushing and joining the same sorority together. It was a match made in Heaven. We have been through a lot together, school, jobs, good/bad relationships, and have had a lot of fun times. In between all the fun times, there have been some hard life changes, and I have always been able to go to Ashley for support. I appreciate her because she always tells me like it is, and because I know she really cares. She puts me in my place and is always honest. She tries to make me cool like she is, by introducing me to new music, new people and stuff I was always afraid to do on my own. I love her because she has an opinion about everything, and can always give you a thoughtful, educated answer. She is passionate about what she believes in, and stands by her beliefs. I could go on and on, so in tribute to the birthday girl, I wrote a poem in the form of an assignment that she might give her students:
A-is for ambitious, because she has so many dreams and always encourages me to go for mine.
S-is for sarcastic, because she is.
H-is for hilarious, because she is that as well.
L-is for lovely...and beautiful and talented, etc. etc.
E-is for educated (and very opinionated).
Y-is for yawn, because she sleeps a lot, now that she is working 12 hour days.
E-is for eyes, because she always gets compliments on how pretty hers are.
N-is for nice, because she can have her moments.
G-is for great style.
A-is for admiration, because her friends feel this towards her.
R-is for RAD.

So, to sum this posting up, Happy Birthday Ashley! Thanks to your parents for having you, they did a great job. Also, thanks for being my friend. You are really good at it.

Wednesday night blogging

My mind sure has been wandering today. I don't know if it is the fever that I have been running the past two days, or that maybe all this extra time on my hands is making me crazy. It's probably both, but anywhoo...admist my delirious, sweaty, fever-induced afternoon, I watched a documentary called "Shut up and Sing" that reviewed the last four years of the Dixie Chicks' career and the media-crazed backlash that they received stemming from the, "I'm ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas," comment. Natalie Maines, the lead singer, mentioned in the film that she would never be able to forgive the media and people that refused to buy, listen or have anything to do with their music after the fact.

It made me start thinking about forgiveness, and how hard it is for some people to forgive. For some reason, I have always been one of those people who forgives quickly. Hearing the phrase, "I will forgive, but never forget" is something that will never ring true for me. I actually do end up...forgetting. I don't know if it is some glitch in my brain, or maybe that I am just choosing, subconsciously, to not think about the "wrong-doings" that have been done to me. To me, it is easier to just, "forgive and forget". This has hurt me in my life, and I realize that, as I trust and forgive way too easily. Some confuse it with naivity, and though I am that too (and I'm working on it), I mostly feel that it takes more energy to be mad at someone than just try and move on. I discussed this with Ashley tonight and she also is one that always forgives and forgets. She brought up an interesting point that pride in not wanting to give in and forgive, may be one the reasons friendships/relationships may be lost after someone mistreats us or betrays our trust, and I agree with her. But which is better? Forgiving and "forgetting" and taking the risk of being hurt again? Or forgiving, and NOT forgetting, but harboring onto bitter feelings towards someone your whole life? Ultimately, I think it is a personal, emotional choice and I think I can understand both sides. Still, for me, forgiveness has been one of the most important things over the last few months for me in dealing with my divorce. While there our some parts of the situation that are impossible to forget (hence the end of my marriage); accepting the situation, and knowing that I love CJ for what we once had and forgiving him for what he did, has helped me move on that much more quickly.

After thinking about all this, I remembered a quote that I read from The Peacemaker: "Being mistreated is the most important condition of mortality, for eternity itself depends on how we view those who mistreat us."

Maybe I've given you all something to think about. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow, my fever will have broken, and I will realize I wrote a bunch of nonsense and end up erasing this. I don't know. Either way, hope you are all having a good night.

Inspiring Women

I love reading stories about the women in the world that are making a difference in others lives. Knowing that these are just ordinary women doing extraordinary things only makes me want to try harder to make a difference in the world around me, especially by making a difference in the lives of the people that I love most. I recently read an article on Maya Angelou, whom I consider one of the most charitable and recognized women in our society. She has accomplished so much as a writer, teacher, civil rights activist, poet, ect, and even with a trying past, has spread her message of hope and unwavering optimism throughout the world. So for today, I'm trying to balance my feministic cynicism and turn it into something postive - uplifting even - to the favorite women in my life. Though I'm not sure anyone besides Carlee and Ashley "the eternal feminists" actually read my posts, I thought I'd take some time to write down some things from some inspiring women that I've made notes of the last couple of weeks. So even if it only gets out to my two best buds...here you go:

"Astonish the world with acts of kindness." - Maya Angelou
"Change is scary. But its also inevitable. To me, that's truly exciting." - Vera Wang
"Leadership is having the courage to show true action." - Oprah Winfrey
"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn." - Harriet Beacher Stowe
"Don't make money your goal. You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Pursue things you love doing and do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you." - Maya Angelou
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Theresa
"A woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself." Susan B. Anthony
"If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it." - Margaret Fuller

**Please note that my incredible Mom says inspiring things to me almost everyday, I just haven't been smart enough to write them down yet.....

Welcome to class kids....I'm your new teacher, Ms. Engar

Here we are into our third week living in Scottsdale, and it is getting better every minute! These are a few pictures of Ashley's new classroom! We have been busy decorating it and coming up with fun new ideas to keep the students interested. Ashley has met a lot of nice teachers that work in her department. One in particular, Mr. Ross, the social studies teacher, has a daughter named Hannah that comes to work with him everyday during the summer, and has quickly become our little pet. She hasn't really wanted to leave since we got there, and will bring us random supplies, from markers to golf balls. Ashley has been busy this week planning her lessons, since she has only a week and a half until school starts! I, on the other hand, have found my new useless talent in being able to staple small things on high walls. I have asked a few other teachers if they would pay me to decorate their classroom, but no one has gone for it yet.

We have also found a new love for Golden Spoon, a cute little non-fat yogurt place near Ashley's school. The owner know us by our first names, and wants me to work there so badly, that he actually handed me an application on my way out the door. Hey....at least I'm networking!!! Hope everyone is doing well. More to come....