Gym stories

All Scottsdale, AZ LA Fitness male members....PLEASE READ:

1- A skin tight t-shirt with Armani Exchange written across it in sequins is not appropriate gym attire.
2- Also, that same shirt that is cutting off the circulation in your upper body, is not in fact, defining/showing off your muscles. They don't look any bigger. Nor does it qualify you to give out fitness advice of any kind.
3- Use sweat bands sparingly. If at all possible, for sweat.
4- It does not matter how much college memorablia you wear - no one is going to actually believe you played college football. Try and keep it to a minimum.
5- A tight choker/necklace does not make your neck/traps look bigger.
6- Bronzer is for women. Stop. We know you are wearing it.
7- The aerobic/yoga rooms, though they are surrounded by mirrors, are not to be used to practice your dance/clubbin' moves.
8- The black hair dye/greasy spiked hair/orange-tan skin look is out. Shower and rinse that stuff off. Its getting everywhere.
9- The mirrors in front of the weight room are actually there for you to watch yourselves as you lift the weights. NOT for standing in front of them trying out your many sweet facial expressions and to see how many people are "checking you out".
10- The hours between 5-9 pm are not considered "happy hour" and therefore should not be used for picking up women. There have been complaints.

Also, LA Fitness EMPLOYEES:
**Though your position is called, "Sales Professional" the tucked-in shirt/slacks/blackberry-clipped-to-belt is unnecessary. You're not fooling anyone. You work at a gym.

Yes, this is mean. But all true. It couldn't be helped.