How to Flirt

It was inevitable. For those that were worried, I have started to like men again. It is not coming easily though. In high school, if you could have graduated with honors in flirting, I probably would have been at the top of my class. It was obnoxious, but that is how it was. Ashley and I have been discussing how easy it was when we were younger, even up to a couple of years ago, when we actually knew what we were doing. Somewhere between that time and now, we have lost the ability to show interest in the guys we actually like or show any sort of smoothness around the opposite sex at all. And I'm serious, it's pretty bad. I remember this boy in elementary school who used to kick the girls that he liked. We may have to resort to physical abuse. At least they would know that we were paying attention to them. Of course I'm exaggerating, but it has become significantly harder to remain cool and calm when around a crush. Ashley and I both have noticed that we freeze up around guys we like. Neither one of us could be confused for shy in most situations - we are both somewhat loud and unafraid to speak what is on our minds. At least that is what we thought. I recall a moment a couple of weeks ago in church when Ashley was stressing over possible conversation topics to a cute guy in our ward sitting next to her. Eventually, she turned to him, pointing to the large book in his lap and said, "Wow, those are pretty big scriptures." She then continued to pick up the book on my lap, and point out that they were a new set I got for Christmas. Obviously, stimulating conversation. Still, she is a lot smoother than me. I lose the ability to speak altogether, which probably looks like I'm bored out of my mind. What is really going on - is that I'm spending countless minutes trying to come up with smooth, witty things to say - all which come out really stupid, or somewhat inappropriate. It is probably best if I sit there and say nothing. We actually googled flirting today - just to see if there was a step-by-step way of doing it - just to help us out a little. This is what was found, according to wikiHow:

How to Flirt with a Guy:
1- Be conscious of your appearance.
Possibly the most important rule to remember when flirting with any guy! Not every guy wants a plastic doll. It means that you should be elegant and clean looking. You don’t need to be drop dead gorgeous. Don’t go overboard or you’ll look like you tried way too hard. Also, don’t wear clothes that reveal too much or you’ll look like a slut, most guys like breasts but that will attract other male attention.
2- Achieve the Perfect Personality.
Whenever you talk to your special guy think of the three S’s: Sweetness, Sexiness and Smarts. Sweetness comes with vulnerability, shyness and kindness. These three factors are especially important because they are what make your hottie feel especially masculine. To act vulnerable and shy try tucking your hair behind your ears, smiling charmingly and batting your eyelashes, but make sure that you practice so it doesn't look like there is something in your eye. When ever you see him in the hall ways, be sure to give him a half smile and a real flirty look. Or you could pull your (long) sleeves over your hands and hold on with your thumbs. Then straighten your arms out (downward) and maybe bite your lower lip and raise your eyebrows.
3- Act Right
There are multiple ways to act flirty, here are some of the best suggestions:
Compliments-Be sure to compliment them on things that are true. Sometimes people will make up compliments just to talk to someone, but that is the total wrong thing to do. You really should compliment on things you really like, so you sound more sincere naturally.

Intense Eye-The intense eye is a trick that models spend years perfecting. You must give your hottie an intense stare that is both sexy and mysterious at the same time. You should try practicing the look in the mirror, and if completed correctly you should feel as sexy as a celeb.

Eyelash Batting- This trick is one of the oldest tricks known to man. It gives you a sweet and vulnerable factor, which guys love because it make themselves feel powerful. Remember to practice this if you intend to use this technique.

Hair Flip and Twirl- If you want to catch a guys attention, flip your hair casually over your shoulder, twist it and then untwist it, tuck it behind your ears, or run your hands through it.

Soft Giggle and Smile-According to polls, a laugh and a smile are the sexiest things a female can wear. If you perfect your smile and laugh to be seductive and sweet, you will find some great results. Practice forcing a natural smile and laugh, it can help through awkward situations.

Magic Touch- You can learn to brush a guy in such a way that you send tingles up and down his spine. Casually tap him while laughing, rest your head on his shoulder if you’re tired and hold his hand when you're nervous; it will give him a sense of manliness and you a touch sweetie-pie, no pun intended.

I know you are all as impressed by this material as I was. The rest of this week will be dedicated to researching ways to achieve the perfect personality, the practice of batting our eyelashes without looking like there is something stuck in our eye, and ways of flipping our hair while giggling softly and looking mysteriously vulnerable. There may be hope for us yet.

Another year down for Shanna-banana...

I'm obviously a little behind on blogging, but trying to catch up on my birthday shout-outs. Our blog wouldn't be complete without letting the world (and by world, I mean the 5 friends of mine who read this) know that our Shanna has hit the big 2-5. I think Shanna has been a great example to all of us, and has shown us what true strength, faith and a good attitude look like. As we have gotten older, I have learned to appreciate her constant cheerful disposition, kind heart and willingness to listen and be there whenever you need her. In true "Laura's a geek" format, I've decided to do another name poem, because it is not hard to find something good that relates to Shanna for every letter in the alphabet.

Style. You all know what I'm talking about. There is no competition.
Hilarious. She has an amazing sense of humor, and I never need to censor myself in front of her...which I love.
Admiration. I think we all admire Shanna for all she has Accomplished (hey, another 'A') in life.
Naughty. Because she is a little bit. We all know it, love it and cherish it.
Nate. She truly found her perfect match. We love them togther. (Also: Neat. Nice. Natural. Nifty.)
America's Next Top Model...because this leggy love of ours is hotter than any girl that has ever won.

Heart. She has a big one and is very thoughtful.
Unique. In a good way.
Roommate. We had some great and memorable times together.
Sensitive. She definitely has a sweet soft side.
Tall. I'm jealous.

Happy Birthday Shanna....we are in love with you!!

Happy Birthday LACEY!!

Happy 25th Birthday to our sweet Lacey Latimer Neilson! She knows she is a favorite of mine, and rightfully so. Even though I have only been friends with her a short 10 years, I have experienced SO much with her. We have been through a lot of ups and downs, but through it all she has remained a constant and loving friend in my life. She is beautiful, talented and is the best back-tickler ever.


10 Reasons why I/we love Lacey:
1- She is beautiful inside and out. Before Darren wisely snatched her up, all the boys were after her.
2- She has always known exactly what she wanted (which makes me jealous) and she does what she needs to do to get it.
3- She has the best memory of any of our friends. If it wasn't for her, many of us would have forgotten some of the best and funniest memories/songs/ex-boyfriends/kisses/trips/etc.
4-She is extremely thoughtful and always gets the best gifts - they are funny, perfect and always my favorite.
5- She stands up for herself and what she believes in.
6- She married the best guy, and they take care of each other. She will be an amazing mother!
7- She is the least judgemental person in the world. She always keeps an open mind. I could tell her anything - and I do.
8- She is always positive and sees the best in people. This is probably my favorite thing about Lacey, because even in my lowest of lows, she saw the light at the end of the tunnel and my potential - helping me see it all too.
9- Now that she lives in L.A. not only is she right in the thick of it sometimes, but she knows all the celebrity gossip...which for me, is awesome.
10- When you become best friends with Lacey, you stay that way. She knows what it takes to be a good friend and I know we will be close for the rest of our lives.

Happy Birthday Lacey-love! Thank you for being such a great friend, person and example. We love you and know this next year is going to be a great one for you!

**I choose pictures according to the quality of the shot of the subject...which conveniently, does not include me in it.

Celebrating the Sistahs...

I have been struggling with the thought of getting older the last couple of weeks. I know it sounds stupid, as I am only coming up on my 25th birthday (and I am bound to be made fun of after this post) but I just don't feel very young anymore. It is not only the fact that I feel like I have aged 10 years in 1. It could be that one of my students told me that while I was very short, my "face was too old to be a high school student"...or, it could be that on Friday night one of my friends told me that while all the other girls we were with were wrinkle-free, I, however, was not, and that it was never too early to consider Botox. He meant it in the nicest way possible. Either way, my latest obsession has been the secret to staying young...forever.

This all being said, I didn't think it was the best idea to agree to be Ashley's date to chaperon her school's Winter Formal, but I still did it knowing that I would at least get some good blogging material out of it. We managed to make it through most of the dance unnoticed and hung to the side with the rest of the teachers/old people. I still felt pretty old at first when the "oldies" of the night were songs like, "Macarena" and "Ice Ice Baby," but by the end of the night I was feeling OK again, and was glad that I went. As fun as my youth and high school days were, I don't think I would ever want to go back. First, because all the kids looked pretty awkward on the dance floor (nothing like Ash and I would have looked like now) and second, I think that we are only getting better and more beautiful with age and experience. At least that is what I'm telling myself now, so don't ruin it for me.

After the dance was over, and being pretty anxious to go dancing since we had been holding ourselves back for the last 3 hours, we decided to meet up with some of our friends in Phoenix at a Jazz club called the Rhythm Room. It was the first time we had gone, and we didn't know what to expect, so we were a little surprised to find out 2 minutes after walking through the door that it was "Dyke Night" at the club (I don't believe in using that word, it's what they actually called it). The 5 woman band playing called themselves "Sistah Blue" and they were true soul sisters. The vibe of the club was awesome, the music was great and it had everyone on the dance floor. We immediately joined in with the crowd, which was a bit older than we were expecting. I tried more than once to join the women on the floor, but they weren't having it. I think they sensed I was not of their sexual orientation (or wasn't their type) because every time I got close trying to mimic some of their moves, they quickly moved away in the other direction. I was feeling pretty rejected until the bump and grind of a small older woman making it down my backside caused me to almost halt mid-dance move - and now has me contemplating if I should be scheduling an appointment to see my Bishop. "Check out this young thing!" I heard her yell from behind me. I decided to just go with it since if I just walked away, it would probably look/seem rude. I am really only comfortable dancing with girls anyway, so would this really be that different? It was. It become apparent a couple seconds into the song that this was not her first time at the Rhythm Room. She threw in a couple "Whoo Hoo's!" and "You go girl's!" as she pulled out her sweetest dance moves and made her way around my stiff/anxious/swaying body. At times I thought I heard a hip pop, but quickly learned that it was the rhythmic and incessant snapping of her fingers and clicking of her cowboy boots that had me confused. With no help from the group I was with (including Ashley), this violation continued throughout most of the song, until I was able to "spin move" my way out of the crowd and back to my friends. They claim I was "asking for it" which is why they only laughed hysterically at my first girl-on-girl dancing experience instead of saving me from it. I probably was, but would you tell your friend that followed a kitten into a dark alley that came back mugged and with only one shoe that they were "asking for it"? I doubt it. Still, despite the distraction, it turned out being a great, diverse, cultured and eye-opening experience for all of us. Needless to say, today I have a bit of a spring in my step. Nothing like getting harassed by an older lesbian to make you feel young again.

Adventures in Traveling

I'm a little behind on blogging as I'm back in Arizona and trying to resume my normal activities. I've never handled change very well, so going home really kind of threw me off. I have been wanting to write a bit on traveling/flying though, since it seems like I have been on an airplane more last year than I have in my entire life.

I feel lucky to be able to go visit my family so easily, but one thing is for sure - I am a horrible traveler. I love to go home and to different places, but the process of getting there is my own personal hell. I can always count on a number of things happening on what I like to call my "traveling day". First, I know that no matter what time my flight is, my entire day is taken up by packing, getting to the airport and reaching my destination. Packing, if you ask anyone close to me, has never been one of my talents. I am the worst. No matter where I am going and how long I will be there, my bags are always overstuffed and make no sense whatsoever. Do I need 4 tank tops to my week long trip to Utah in December? Probably not, but I don't seem to care. The anxiety that packing causes me (because I wait until the last minute) is enough to make me crazy. And it does. Second, I can always be counted on to shed quite a few tears as I say goodbye to my family, specifically my parents, as they drop me off at the security checkpoint. Speaking of security - I always get overly anxious to get through that line and always breathe a sigh of relief once I do. After witnessing a slight disagreement between Carlee and airport security a couple of years ago, I always get nervous that I'm going to get stopped, and accused of something horrible, that will in turn - make me miss my flight (which I have also done on more than one occasion). Because of this, I'm always close to stripping down to my skivvies and putting everything I own into a small plastic bag to send through the line. Once I'm actually on the airplane, and since I'm usually by myself, I will inevitably be sat next to an adorable older woman who loves to talk, or an unusually oversized man - who also, loves to talk. As we take off and the turbulence sets in....speaking of, I say we ban those small SkyWest planes altogether (sorry Ashley Lee). I would think they would be safer than the big ones. I don't know why...weighing less = less likely to fall...?? But they are not. If a bird brushes up the side of it, it is thrown into a tailspin and it takes about 5 minutes for the pilot to level out again. Anyway...the flight gets underway, and by the stirring in the seats and people looking over their shoulders, I can tell the beverage service has began. It seems like hardly anyone can relax until they get their drink and ridiculously small bag of peanuts (which I still claim to be the best peanuts...ever) . I take this moment of excitement to stick in my IPod and open a book, as it is the only point in my flight where my talkative friend next to me is focused on something else. On this last flight back, I opened up the SkyMall magazine, and I must say...the people who come up with that stuff are geniuses. Talk about great gift ideas. I want to open up a SkyMall store. Back to the flight though...the good thing about flying is the deep thought that comes from being stuck between two strangers with nothing else to really look at other than the back of an airplane seat. I thought a lot about the past year, and made some great plans for 2008. Sometimes I can get really relaxed, listening to music, to where I am really bummed when they ask me to "turn off all my electronic devices" as we get close to landing. Being the rebel that I am, I always try to keep it on as long as possible, hiding it under my shirt or jacket. The woman that sat next to me this last trip was nice enough to let me know 5 minutes before they even announced it, and then a couple minutes after (seeing me trying to slip it away unnoticed) that I was interfering with signals/causing the plane to crash. I sound bitter, but I know she was right. As we landed, it finally sunk in that the holidays were over, and that real life had to begin again. Sitting at the baggage claim is always entertaining. It seems like I am always surrounded by couples. Not just normal couples though - couples in love. I'm lucky with my bags though - they, and I always get out pretty fast. As I'm walking outside, getting a little down by all the displays of public affection going on around me, a familiar black car pulls up to the curb, and I'm greeted by Ashley's happy (but slightly annoyed for having to usher through the traffic) face...and everything is OK again.

On a different note, once I came home, I learned that our South African handy man has returned. We should have some interesting stories in the near future.